So the fiancee and I took Friday off and decided to burn an AMC gift-card by catching the third X-Men flick. I've already got zero expectations (see below) but felt like, "What the hey?"

So it turns out that a lot of my fears about the quality of the flick were unfounded. Juggernaut was actually pretty cool and didn't remind me of Ram-Man once. Calisto turned out to be a cross between herself and Caliban (her sort of lackey in the comics who can sense other mutants) with a little bit of Quicksilver thrown in for no reason what-so-ever. And the Sentinels? Don't worry your pretty head over that one. That was shown way out of context, but I will add that it was a very poor choice of a film clip for Jackman to be lugging around to late night talk shows. Very misleading and not at all in a good way (also see below.)

Before I get into what did bug me I will say that the flick was rather fun and I think that Brett Ratner did a hell of a job matching the look and feel of the previous Singer flicks. I walked out of the theatre feeling like the money was well spent and I wasn't pissed off or all geek crazy or anything.

Now for what I didn't like. Dark Phoenix. First off, no matter how cool the hint of the phoenix appearing at the end of X2 was, I did not want to see a Dark Phoenix movie. I don't think the movie going audience is ready for stodgy mansions filled with uptight mutants and robots dressed in bad 17th century fashions (or in almost nothing at all ala White and Black Queens are concerned.) I don't think people are ready for X-Men in Space, and yadda yadda yadda. Even if you completely change the plot and stuff I don't think people are ready for the Jean Grey can eat your planet movie.

So the fact that she pops up in this already full story-ed (I think that isn't a word) flick is the pits. First off the Dark Phoenix plot is so secondary it really feels like it could easily have been cut from the film. Second, it was utterly unfulfilling and just kind of lame how it plays out.

If anyone is teetering on whether to spend their hard earned 8-12 bucks on this flick, go ahead and do it, just try not to take it to seriously. I mean it is just a movie right? It's not like upon seeing the flick all your Classic X-Men back issues or Dark Phoenix trades burst into flames. Read the comic if you want to read that story. Watch the movie if you want to see Magneto superbly brought to like by the one and only Gandalf.

I stumbled upon a site recently that was sort of like opening a Pandora's Box of interesting sounds. Scar Stuff is basically a site dedicated to all things Halloween record related. It's actually a lot more than that, but that was what I was looking for when I found it and it is a treasure trove, let me tell you. This guy deserves a medal or Halloween sainthood at least. I spent a weekend snagging records and then following the links on his page (said Pandora's Box) to other out-of-print vinyl that's been made available digitally. If you have time, and the thought of hearing a record narrated by Boris Karloff who introduces sound clips of the Universal Monster Movies, then check him out and start celebrating Halloween a little early.

Recently the Alamo Drafthouse held a reunion screening of The Monster Squad that Fred Dekker, the director of the film, attended. Well he commented on the lack of impact online petitions have on movie studios (same with e-mail.) He instead suggested resorting to snail mail as a means to an end. It makes sense, seeing that taking the time to handwrite a letter and pay for postage is a lot more motivated than clicking a link and typing your name.

So I urge anyone who has any love for The Monster Squad write to Viacom to get this flick on DVD.  The address is:

 

Mr. Sumner M. Redstone

Viacom

1515 Broadway

New York, NY  10036

 

I've already started a letter writing campaign, like the dork that I am.  My goal is to write a letter a day for the next few months or until my hand falls off.  I'm on letter #5 (weekends don't count.)

I freaking knew it.  George Lucas is a fucking predictable bastard.  "Oh...I'm never going to release the Unaltered original triology on DVD."  You liar.  You fucking fuck of a liar.

And to top it off, he's making us buy the special editions again, just to get the original triology.  I really should be happy.  But I'm not.  That Wampa ice creature above is actually George Lucas breaking into your house, killing your favorite pet, and dragging off your income.

I really understand that I shouldn't be pissed, but I hate it that film companies like Lucasfilm and Amblin Entertainment, companies that I worshiped when I was a kid for making films like Indiana Jones Triology, E.T., Willow, and the Star Wars triology use nostalgia to line their pockets.  When E.T. was announced on DVD, Amblin said it was going to be a special edition re-edit of the film that altered the violence (implied or whatnot) and that the original cut of the film wouldn't be released.  Then after fan outcry the original cut of the film was included on that release but at a higher price.  So I was punished for liking it the way it was when I saw it in the theatre as a kid.  The excuse that gets thrown around a lot is that the original is on VHS, but technology has moved on in the past 10 years and VHS just isn't a form of media that was designed to last.

Lucas is evil in this way plus one.  When he released the OT as special editions a bit ago he also put out a statement that this would be the definitive and last release of the films on DVD.  He also had all new cover art mocked up for the releases.  Well, when Revenge of the Sith came out on DVD, he re-released the OT in new packaging with the original movie covers.  I'll bet there are die hard fans out there that bought them just for that reason.  Hell there are people who bought them because the thought they were the OT unaltered.  Now he's releasing them again, though you are being forced to buy the special editions with the original editions.  So now I have a useless set of the special editions that I won't get crap for at a used movie place because six million other people will also be selling theirs.  How much you want to bet that the new "limited to 4 months only" editions will have new cover art, nad six months down the road they will be released in archive editions with the original cover art? 

X3 really looks like it's going to suck.  I kept thinking that it might not, that even though it had a rushed shooting and post schedule that it might be cool.  But so many chips are stacked against it.  First they anounced that Beast would be in the flick.  Not bad, but not great.  Tons of blue fury that could either be a CGI nightmare or a practical nightmare.  Btw, why is it that each flick has to have some special blue character introduced?

Then pictures came out.  Angel, pretty cool.  Beast, ugh, not that bad.  Juggernaut, a live action Ram-man reject from the horrible Masters of the Universe movie.  Calisto, pretty and frail, not quite the ugly scrappy leader of the morlocks from the comics.  Colossus, damn, fake as hell.  You can see his eyes under the metal like it's a mask.

Story wise, I don't know.  They've anounced Dark Phoenix will be a character, which would suggest that that will be the focus of the flick.  But they also seem to be going with Magneto finally waging a large scale war on humanity, going so far as recruiting the morlocks.  Okay, well that seems like a lot for one flick.

Now the clincher. Sentinals? Why don't they just try and throw in the X-tinction Agenda story as well. Hell, why not have a subplot with the New Mutants, and have Kitty and Nightcrawler break off and help form Exclibur in the same flick.  How long is this movie going to be?

For the record, giant robots don't generally work in movies in my opinion.  Sure the robots in Sky Captain were kind of cool, but that flick had major problems with those scenes and besides it was super stylistic.  Sure the AT-AT's were awesome in Empire, but that was a different time and place.  Giant robots scream Godzilla to me, which isn't a bad thing as far as Godzilla is concearned, but not so great for an X-flick.  I'm dreading the live action Transformers movie that's in development, especially since Michael Bay is directing.  Sentinals are the last nail in the X3 coffin as far as I'm concearned.

I think the reason this bothers me so much is that they made such pains to ground the X-flicks in reality as far as style goes.  There really are only a few moments where they get crazy (lame Statue of Liberty fight, tornados vs. jet fighters.)  Sentinals are just giant robot crazy and it just seems like it's going to be way too cartoon-y.

Oh well.  I guess there's always that Wolverine prequel.  Though I'm sure they'll wind a way to make that seem goofy too.  I think it would be awesome if the plot revolved around Logan trying to get hitched to Mariko and having to deal with her family and ninjas.  That seems action oriented enough without involving superhero stuff (since it'll be a prequel he won't be all mixed up in superhero business yet, ala the story from the first film.)  Just ditch the Silver Samurai stuff and make it a love story.  Screw the Canadian government and weapon X storylines, and please avoid the Origin stuff that was put out recently.